I will start this out by saying that I feel strongly that dating a married man is morally and ethically very wrong. I even feel things short of “dating” are also inappropriate and I would not be party to any such relationship. So last night a I was over at my guy friends house. We met on okCupid and live quite close each other, making short visits easy. He was telling me a little about his situation (I.e. His ex, divorce, etc). As I was trying to get perspective on all he was telling me, I asked him when his divorce was final. I thought I had sensed that it was within the past year or maybe even 6 months.
“In 4 or 5 days.”
“I think it’ll be done in 4 or 5 days.”
“You are kidding right?”
“No. I mean I consider myself divorced. I consider it done already.”
Though I am strongly opposed to dating or even flirting with a married man, I seem to have found myself sleeping with one. A line from my lifes theme song is playing all the while in my head. “How did I get here?”
I’m sure I repeated ‘you are kidding me’ more times than I can accurately recall.
“Oh great” I finally say.
“So not only am I in a FWB arrangement (also known as sleeping with someone you just met) but its with someone who is still married!”
Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined this. I mean couldn’t or wouldn’t I always know if someone is married? Clearly not! I do feel better knowing that they are effectively divorced in the critical aspects. They do not reside together, or have sex. He pays child support.
I’m not sure what I should learn from this situation besides maybe actually asking the question “are you married?” I understood the status of “single” to mean just that. Single. Not married. I’ll add sleeping with a married man to the growing list of things I thought I’d never do.