Archive for the ‘ Parenting ’ Category

Pomp and Circumstance

The first part of  June was spent celebrating the graduations of three of my children. I had two graduate from 8th grade and one from high school. Just hearing the Pomp and Circumstance’ graduation music nearly always brings a tear to my eye. I have a similar response to the wedding march.  Graduations and weddings signify such huge life changing milestones.  My brain has made the association so that just hearing the music causes the reaction. When I was actually the graduate and the bride I didn’t have the appreciation of the significance that I do now. I guess that is life experience.

There are other things in life that when I hear or see them a certain emotional reaction is stirred. What are some life’s moments that you have a predictable reaction to? 

Michele Bailey

Spring and Other New Beginnings

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We have had some beautiful days lately here in the Pacific Northwest. My only complaint is that there have been too few of them!  I do love spring and all the crazy, fickle weather that comes with it. I always know summer is just around the corner. There are flowers blooming, baby birds and ducks frequenting the pond and the end of the school year is in sight.

Spring is like a blossoming love.  There are lots of firsts already shared and new experiences on the horizon. A significant first for R and I recently was him him meeting my kids. We decided to plan something fun and he suggested an afternoon of kayaking, followed by a BBQ at his house. When I mentioned the plan to my kids, they informed me that they are deathly afraid of the water. What?  Since when? 

“Is it by a waterfall?”  Uh, no.

“Are there rapids?”  Uh, no.

Who knew?  Anyway, we decided to just ride his ATV around and then BBQ. My parents are visiting so of course they came, too. I had planned on going first with 3 of my kids and my folks coming shortly after me with my oldest child. We made a quick stop at the store and as we were getting in the car to leave my oldest called and said they were at his house already!  So much for that idea. Another plan out the window. At least that was 3 introductions I didn’t have to do!  We had a fun time riding the ATV and a lot of yummy food.  There was interaction, no fighting, full tummies and I managed to escape the day without my mother embarrassing me! All was good. The day was a success. Everyone left to head home as some had homework and another had “plans” and I stayed to help clean up. Cleaning up after my family is a big job!  After all the clean up we just collapsed on the sofa. Whew!  Just enough energy left for a little loving. Dessert is always my favorite part of the meal.

The Fight

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My oldest daughter and I had an enormous fight the other night. I am at a loss for any creative way to tell the story so I will just jump right in.

I began by asking her why she wasn’t in school on a particular  day she was supposed to be. What started as a discussion about why she wasn’t in school escalated into a fight about my dating. Additionally, she was upset about an unrelated thing I had done. I was more upset than I can remember being in a very long time. I feel like I do pretty good job not speaking  negatively about her father or the situation, but not in that atmoment. I just let out more than I should of. Her basic point was that she didn’t like my dating.  She said she doesn’t want anyone (whoever im dating) at our house and she didn’t want to meet them. I was at a loss for the right words. So instead I probably said a lot of things I shouldn’t have. I really don’t need to repeat the actual words we used. Im sure you could imagine pretty easily what hurtful and selfish things we each said.

As awful the argument was, there were some key points I gleaned from that night.

First, is that she is still hurting so badly from our divorce.

She has always been and still longs to be a daddy’s girl.

She is as hard on me as I am on her.

A couple of days later we talked again. We were calm and out of the heat of the moment. She said it is hard on her to go from just our family that she’s known for 17 years to it being something totally different. She does want me to be happy. She realizes that in a few short years that all of the kids will be grown up and gone (maybe!)  I told her for me it was the realization that life is too short to wallow in sadness and regret over the past. None of us never knows if its our last day on this earth. I want to strive to be happy and, of course, keep my eyes on God. The prize of eternity is the main focus of my life.

After the fight I thought things were hopeless. I didn’t think she would bend at all or even consider accepting someone else in my life. I am thankful we are at a place where she is open to my new beau. She realizes I may get married some day again. We are both trying and working on our relationship. I am so glad for that.