Archive for the ‘ Happiness ’ Category

Summer Fishing

 

 

 

 

 

 

Since I am once again single I have reposted my profile on the dating site where I met R, okCupid. I like this site pretty well. I like how it asks questions and helps you get an idea of the kind of person they are. Once I had my profile up and had looked around I noticed that I was seeing many of the faces I’d seen there before. I suppose its not reasonable to expect there’d be a whole new crop of men perfect for me!  I was now curious about the other dating sites out there. I had done Match before so decided not to go that route.

Plenty of Fish, Zoosk, and Rich Men are the dating sites that seem to be the most popular. I am curious what sites you all favor?  Do you prefer one over another?  Why?  I’d love to hear some critiques on these sites!

Happy fishing!  I wish everyone much love and happiness this summer!

Michele Bailey

Spring and Other New Beginnings

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We have had some beautiful days lately here in the Pacific Northwest. My only complaint is that there have been too few of them!  I do love spring and all the crazy, fickle weather that comes with it. I always know summer is just around the corner. There are flowers blooming, baby birds and ducks frequenting the pond and the end of the school year is in sight.

Spring is like a blossoming love.  There are lots of firsts already shared and new experiences on the horizon. A significant first for R and I recently was him him meeting my kids. We decided to plan something fun and he suggested an afternoon of kayaking, followed by a BBQ at his house. When I mentioned the plan to my kids, they informed me that they are deathly afraid of the water. What?  Since when? 

“Is it by a waterfall?”  Uh, no.

“Are there rapids?”  Uh, no.

Who knew?  Anyway, we decided to just ride his ATV around and then BBQ. My parents are visiting so of course they came, too. I had planned on going first with 3 of my kids and my folks coming shortly after me with my oldest child. We made a quick stop at the store and as we were getting in the car to leave my oldest called and said they were at his house already!  So much for that idea. Another plan out the window. At least that was 3 introductions I didn’t have to do!  We had a fun time riding the ATV and a lot of yummy food.  There was interaction, no fighting, full tummies and I managed to escape the day without my mother embarrassing me! All was good. The day was a success. Everyone left to head home as some had homework and another had “plans” and I stayed to help clean up. Cleaning up after my family is a big job!  After all the clean up we just collapsed on the sofa. Whew!  Just enough energy left for a little loving. Dessert is always my favorite part of the meal.

The Fairytale

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There has been much ado this week about the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. It was televised live, which meant it was on at 2 am our time. Needless to say I haven’t seen it. I would of loved to see but didn’t think to record it. I can recall when his mother princess Diana and Prince Charles were married. I can’t remember what year it was but it seems like a long time ago!

Unfortunately, fresher in my mind is the night she died in the auto accident while being chased by the paparazzi. What a tragedy. Two boys left without a mother. At the time of her death she was divorced from Prince Charles.  She had been seeing Dodi Fayed who was with her that night and, also, killed. Divorce, fairly rampant among us commoners, has now even plagued the royal family. I thought Princess Diana’s life was the real fairytale that girls dream of. It turned out that Princess Diana was human just like the rest of us and subject to all of the human faults that contribute to the erosion of the very thing we hold dearest to our heart. Love. The stressors that impacted her marriage are likely not the same that impacted mine but likely had a similar negative effect on her marriage. None of us expects our own fairytale to eventually wither and die. We go in to marriage expecting it to last a lifetime. I don’t think it is wrong to have that expectation.  Because mine didn’t last a lifetime I must have had to create a life based on the reality that’s on my plate today. I never thought I’d say I was happy about my divorce but I can say today that I like my life. The past few years of my marriage I was very unhappy and felt like I was living with someone who hated me. I gave it all I could and knew how to do. I prayed for what felt like a lifetime.

Today, though, I am a happy person again. I have met a wonderful man that I love a whole lot. For me, my fairytale is just beginning.

Blessings.

The Fight

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My oldest daughter and I had an enormous fight the other night. I am at a loss for any creative way to tell the story so I will just jump right in.

I began by asking her why she wasn’t in school on a particular  day she was supposed to be. What started as a discussion about why she wasn’t in school escalated into a fight about my dating. Additionally, she was upset about an unrelated thing I had done. I was more upset than I can remember being in a very long time. I feel like I do pretty good job not speaking  negatively about her father or the situation, but not in that atmoment. I just let out more than I should of. Her basic point was that she didn’t like my dating.  She said she doesn’t want anyone (whoever im dating) at our house and she didn’t want to meet them. I was at a loss for the right words. So instead I probably said a lot of things I shouldn’t have. I really don’t need to repeat the actual words we used. Im sure you could imagine pretty easily what hurtful and selfish things we each said.

As awful the argument was, there were some key points I gleaned from that night.

First, is that she is still hurting so badly from our divorce.

She has always been and still longs to be a daddy’s girl.

She is as hard on me as I am on her.

A couple of days later we talked again. We were calm and out of the heat of the moment. She said it is hard on her to go from just our family that she’s known for 17 years to it being something totally different. She does want me to be happy. She realizes that in a few short years that all of the kids will be grown up and gone (maybe!)  I told her for me it was the realization that life is too short to wallow in sadness and regret over the past. None of us never knows if its our last day on this earth. I want to strive to be happy and, of course, keep my eyes on God. The prize of eternity is the main focus of my life.

After the fight I thought things were hopeless. I didn’t think she would bend at all or even consider accepting someone else in my life. I am thankful we are at a place where she is open to my new beau. She realizes I may get married some day again. We are both trying and working on our relationship. I am so glad for that.

Happy New Year

I have read and heard the New Years resolutions of several people so far this year. I don’t have any big resolutions for 2011, though I haven’t given it a whole lot of thought.. Its not that I don’t have any goals or anything that I’m working on. My thoughts have been of where I’m at right now and how I got here. As I’ve reflected on the events of the past 2-3 years one thing I can say is that I’m glad they are behind me.

Divorce results in many casualties along the way. My divorce certainly has wreaked such havoc on my life.

On my family.

On my career.

It pretty much, at a minimum, touched each area of my life. To say that it “touched” anything somehow sounds much nicer than it should. It felt more like a hit and run. I look at how I was then compared to now and I am truly thankful to be in the latter. I wish I never had to go through this but I am happy that I have the benefit of the passage of time.

For 2011 I want to be touched by the things that ultimately bring me peace. I want to leave the hurt, anger, disappointment, sadness and any other negative emotion that has taken up residence inside my soul, behind in 2010.

I wish you peace and God’s blessings in 2011.