Is it Worth it?

I am so thrilled to have met someone who I have fallen fast and hard for. I can’t say it enough how good it feels to feel good again. To be adored, respected, cherished and wanted. To be liked. To be with someone whose thoughts and feelings for you are positive. I had forgotten about all of the wonderful things love can bring.

I told each of my kids about my beau over the past several days. It wasn’t possible to tell them at the same time. I needed to tell my son before the others out of necessity. Because the beau and I were planning on attending my sons out of town game, I wanted to tell him about my beau before he and I showed up at the game. My sons response was that he thought me having a boyfriend was kind of weird. Then he wanted to know if he was rich. When I didn’t answer this question to his satisfaction he then asked, “well what kind of car does he drive?”. What kind of car you drive can give you insight into the kind of person somebody is. Surely this is common knowledge. My son avoided us at the event we attended over the weekend. He said it wasn’t because I brought the beau. I told my oldest next. She wasn’t obviously upset but looked surprised. She asked a few questions. Overall she seemed ok with it. I told my twins last. I was not expecting them to be happy for me or jump for joy, because I now had a boyfriend. I didn’t expect them to be quite as upset as they were though. They were affected the most by my news. I asked what about it bothered them (were they hoping their dad and I would get back together? Or ?). One stated she didn’t expect we’d get back together but she just didn’t like that I had a boyfriend. The other one wouldn’t verbalize anything. She just teared up and said she didn’t want to talk about it. It sure is hard to see their hurt and feel like you are pouring salt on an open wound. I felt sad and a little upset. Its hard when you are so happy about something when those around do not share in the sentiment. I didn’t know what to say to make them feel better. So I reminded them, once again, that it was not my choice to get divorced and that I had a right to have a life. I know I shouldn’t have said it but I did. I didn’t know what else to say. I hate finding myself in another brand new situation. Unchartered territory. Again.

My beau and I live in the same metro area but its an hours drive to each others house. Technically its not a long distance relationship but it feels kind of close to it. I came to the realization yesterday as spring break came to an end that the upcoming week would look nothing like the week we had that was just finishing. It is unlikely we will see each other every day. I won’t be able to stay over until the kids are at their dads again which is every other weekend. What if they all don’t go? It is not an uncommon thing for one or both of the older ones to decide to stay home for one reason or another. So it could potentially be 4 weeks not 2 weeks until I can stay over. Ugh! What kind of relationship can you have with all of these factors playing into the picture? I can see why people rush to get married the 2nd time around. You pretty much know when its right and given the difficulty in trying to connect when your lives exist in 2 different worlds, I can see the appeal to just getting married.

What has your experience been the 2nd time around? How did you manage to date? I feel like a teenager again. Boo hoo!


  1. First of all, congratulations! You’re right about deserving to have a life and deserving love. Your kids will come around.

    Mine were 15, 13, and 10 when I filed for divorce. The divorce has been final for four years, and my youngest is now 15. Two years ago, my son told me he would get rid of anyone I tried to date. But now, four years after the divorce is final, they’re all kind of eager for mom to find someone. I think it just takes time for kids to come to terms with the fact that their parents aren’t going to get back together.

  2. I am so happy for you!! That is awesome. And though I don’t have kids, I know when my mom first started dating (when we were in high school), she was very gradual with it and introducing him into the house etc. So, while I know you want to just jump right in and see him as much as you can, I think there will be some baby steps and it will require patience (which I don’t have!). In the meantime, enjoy every moment 🙂

  3. Thanks for posting this nice article!

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