Love Possible

I haven’t actually seen the movie “Love Actually” but thought a play on the title was fitting for my post today.

Imagine a divorced female, in her 40’s, full custody of 4 teens and enough debt for a lifetime. The burning question being “Is love after divorce possible?”

Its more than whether I can I find those feelings again, but if I did, could it ever work!? Could it ever fit in the new version of my life? Its just so much more complicated now.

Without advance planning, I joined Match.com. I never thought I would join such a service but one day I just got to thinking that at least it would give me something to do! Maybe I’d meet someone to go to a movie or dinner with. I have the same friends as before and they are for the most part married. So I was on Match for 1 or 2 days when I I responded to one of the e-mails sent to me by an interested guy. the short version of the story is that I have met someone that I am very interested in. We’ve been e-mailing and now IMing daily. We often talk for an hour or more and usually more than once a day. We’ve talked about all kinds of things. Our kids, work, interests, music our life tragedies. We’ve even expressed sexual desire. Can you desire someone you haven’t met in person? Normally I would say no but I know different.

He away on business for another week or two and then he will return to his home in Northern California. Over the course of little over a weeks time we are both falling hard. He thinks he loves me. I am trying to remain skeptical of what could become of this, I mean how could he love me? He doesn’t even really know me. I can’t deny similar feelings for him, though. I’m not sure its love. How could I have these feelings for someone I haven’t even met? I can’t get him off my mind. The feelings are amazing. I can’t remember ever feeling like this. It feels so teenager like. He will be back in 1-2 weeks and I can hardly wait. Its like 2 people who know each other reuniting after a separation.

One thing I do know. It feels good to feel good again.

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